To my husband

I feel so incredibly blessed to have my husband as my helper and support through this crazy walk called life.

He supported me through nursing school, and while I was working shift work. He never complained with all the crazy stories I brought home from work working as a nurse (sorry, I know some of them aren’t meant for the dinner table, whoops).

Yes, we have had our ups and downs, but I recently I have tried to really look at everything he does for our family, and the sacrifices he has made for us.

He may not know a tonne about medical things or understand everything our daughter V is going through health wise, but he has done so much to learn and support us in this crazy journey.

When V was born we were stuck in a windowless isolation room in the NICU for 7 days. Instead of going home, he slept on those pull out couch loungers in the hospital with me, forsaking good sleep to be at our side. He couldn’t truly take time off work, so he was on the phone and answering emails, doing his very best to be present at all times so he could help.

He has never shied away from messes she makes or smelly diapers she fills.

He has tried to understand the medical jargon, and though he doesn’t have the time to do the research like I have had, he listens and learns as much as he can so he can help.

He has been a shoulder to cry on and a smile to laugh with.

I love watching the love and awe in his eyes when he sees our daughter.

Is he a baby sitter? No. And he would be incredibly offended if I referred to him that way. He is V’s dad. Just like I watch and parent her during the day, he often watches and parents for her when I need something done.

When I feel done and drained, he asks what he can do, and does it. It may not always be the way I do things but it helps, and I don’t think I tell him that enough.

This isn’t to say he is perfect. Nobody is. And of course I have had moments when I feel frustrated, I feel alone. I’m doing all this work for V, making sacrifices dietary wise and sometimes it feels like, sanity wise. I often get blinders. I don’t see the work he is doing, the countless overtime hours so that he is caught up and due to this can’t spend time with us at home as a family.

I was feeling burnt out and that V wasn’t seeing him enough, and so he now comes home for supper and then goes back to work as needed, sometimes until early morning. Some days he is as drained as me, but he will get up if V wakes up crying if I am too tired to.

It’s when I have felt most alone, without his support, that I have realized that he is there as much as he can be. He is struggling through this journey called parenting right along with me, our journey filled with specialist appointments and allergies.

Everyone always says that you will fall more in love with your husband when you watch him with your child. I didn’t understand until this past year.

My heart feels close to bursting at times.

All of this to say, take the time to really look at your significant other. Step into their shoes. Try to understand from their perspective. If you are frustrated or feel alone, try to look at all the things they do for you or your family.

Don’t tally your frustrations and their failings, look at where they have stepped up, the moments where your heart is full, the little things they do.

By looking at the positive moments more, everything feels a little clearer, things don’t seem so difficult, and I personally feel more at peace.

So tell them how you feel, thank them for their support. Thank them for being your partner, your teammate, the person struggling through life with you together, holding you up when needed.

I’m not saying it shouldn’t be expected that dad’s do these things, but I truly love having a partner who does these things because he wants to be a part of our parenting journey. Someone to shoulder the burden. Someone who steps up when needed, loves our family and truly would do anything for us.

So thank you to dad’s out there, but a special thank you to my hubby, for everything you do. I love you and feel blessed to call you mine.

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